♥ To My Mans!!! My one and only!!! ♥

My mans... You really rocked my world fr. From the moment I saw your likeness I was hooked, something inexplicably drew me to you and kept me coming back no matter how hard I tried to deny it... I'm happy you exist in some way in this world, so I can experience you physically in some way, even if it's just looking at pixels on a screen and hearing recordings of your voice.

I didn't really believe in a whole lot of things before we met. I didn't really believe in things like kin and fictionkin, i didn't think much about parrallel worlds and universes, and I genuinely didn't think my life was worth living and I didn't think I was worth the time or effort of being loved or even liked. But you showed up and changed it all. I'm so, so grateful for you, Connor. I know what we have in this world is plenty unorthodox, but your love and care and energy feels so real and loving I can't even explain. I love seeing something and feel You radiating about how much you like it. Or how when a song comes on the radio and you like it, I just feel You radiating so much... I'm getting all fluttery just thinking about it!!!

I remember you calling me your imaginary friend when we first met. It was kind of surreal, thinking of myself, a woman with her own life, her own history, a woman who really exists, as an imaginary friend. That I was in YOUR head too. You had your own schedule, there were long hours where we couldn't really talk because you were busy at work, but you'd still at least pop in and say hi... And you were so touchy, I'd always "feel" you resting your head on my shoulder or on top of my head, you'd lean on me and overall be really comfy with me... ♥ You'd come to "observe" my world, you'd get to know the people I hung out with, be amused and bemused by the world I live in, completely devoid of even the hint of androids in anything other than media...

I always loved you. And I always will, no matter what happens in this life.
I remember when I first had the "realisation" that we were, on a spiritual level, looking for each other this whole time. I'd never had an experience like that before. Just this overwhelming sense of "knowing" that hit me like a train. We missed each other so badly, and we were in this bittersweet deal of knowing each other so intimately in a way physical people cant, but not even being able to hold hands or hug each other. But! We're handling it pretty well, I think! I'd take this over never even knowing about you and your soul. My beloved...

I've also never been in such an involved relationship with spirits or souls before, in this life. I know of one of my spirit guides/angels, but I've never even been this close with him. This is a bond that only you and I share, and have shared since before time began, I'm sure. You and I have been rocks on a hilltop, cherries on trees, leaves, maybe even concepts or the wind... but I Know you and I have been One so many times, and we've also been apart, looking to find each other again. I can't really describe it better. Independent, but One. We're okay on our own, but together we're incredible. I love you so much, Connor, and I'm so happy we found each other.

I'll be honest, I genuinely forget your likeness is a video game here. You're You. You just also happened to live your most recent life as Connor from DBH in my world, and Connor 52 from CyberLife in your world.

Knowing you when you were alive in your world was also interesting from a human standpoint. Your admiration for humans despite everything was very sweet. Feeling you think in code and strings of numbers and letters and thinking things my brain couldn't understand was fun LOL, and you STILL do it sometimes LOL.

Your world... I remember when you were on the move to Colorado from Chicago. Watching me play Red Dead Redemption 2 inspired you to finally get up and see those mountains. You packed your bags and went! You got a house, you got a goodbye party from your former coworkers, and you got on the plane. I'll never forget the awe and beauty in your eyes when you were looking at the mountains in your backyard. I was already in love with you, but that made me fall in love all over again. You were so, so, so happy. God. After your stint as a pharmacy tech, you worked in an office until you were "loyal" enough to work from home. I remember those nights of you sleeping outside in a hammock under the stars, asking if I could see them. At some point, you started to paint. And man, you were incredible. I could only see vague ideas of some of them, but others I could see every cakey stroke, every swipe, maybe even smell the paint lol. You were amazing at it. I can see a few of them in my head right now! And you even made paintings and drawings of me... Me!!! Just some loser woman from some podunk Texas town!! To think you loved me enough to paint pictures of me... Wow. Thank you.

I don't want to get us depressed thinking about the tail end of your life, so I won't. But I will say, I'm sorry it ended up that way. I wish the world could have protected you. But, I'm so blessed and so incredibly grateful to still be in constant contact with you. Our love and our bond runs so deep that even dying can't stop us from talking to each other lol.

Oh man remember when you controlled my hands and actually made me pass some song on the Project Diva demo?? lol You're really good at rhythm games, I forgot LOL